I'm not the most organised thinker to say the least, and as I said in my first post - I started this blog in the middle of my experiences.
It would have been nice to start at the beginning and work through things as they happened, shared thoughts as they occurred chronologically - but I didn’t know I was going to feel the need to share this for about...ooh lets say about 12 journals - or about 6 months of non contact - I know that’s A LOT! of journals
and most of them are filled with all sorts of things which are irrelevant to what I'm writing here (shopping list anyone?) But it is my intention to gradually work through them, and pick out the milestone moments in going non contact with my Family of origin. Simply because - as I said in one of my posts already -
there is no map to this.
I didn’t know what to expect - and if you are reading this then you may be in the same position, or maybe your much further along your journey and want to share what’s coming?
But I thought I'd make this page and see if I can keep some kind of index here of the order things actually happened in - then you can see where and when I was being ranty, when I had my light bulb moments and where I was feeling at my most sorry for myself. Sometimes I do post about now - sometimes about things that happened, or occurred to me, a little while ago.
I'll try to keep it up to date and link it to the relevant posts - but I'm not loving this blog format and am finding some of the ways it works a bit challenging, so bear with me if I fail to be a superhero about all this.
The Dim And Distant PastChildhood and pre awareness stuff
The Build UpWhen I knew it was all wrong but didn’t know what to do with that knowledge
Tipping Points and Making Decisions.Ground Zero and Taking on the fight for me
Non Contact and the Very Immediate Aftermath
The mad scrabble to arm myself in case they came back fighting, and the period of emotional fallout after cutting contact.
The First MonthsShifting perspectives and seeing things in new ways
- How abusive does it have to be to be proper abuse ?
- Starting in the middle
- Mirror Child
- The Caged Bird
- You can't visit the same river twice
- The Snow Globe theory of Narcissistic Abuse
The First YearCreating a New Normal - going through a years events and the realisation that what I defined as family had changed.
- Counter Projection
- It sucks that this is my happy ending
- Sky fall
- The scapegoat and the golden child
- Little Miss Perfect
- The Gordian Knot Part 1
- Google Translate That!
Onwards and Upwards
Getting stuff to stick and not just be theories and starting into a second year
- The Whirlpool
- The Gordian Knot Part 2
- A Stranger In My Own Life
- Who do I Grieve For?
- The Empty Woods
- Just Passing Through Normal
- Breaking habits - replacing addictions
Making THIS Work
A little Hindsight and new Happiness. Moving into year two and the new emerging me.
Where asking "Why?" stopped, and "Moving On" Started in Earnest.
Elements of rebuilding happened throughout the process so these are a bit disjointed if you're not reading the blog in date order.
- There be Monsters Here
- Made to Measure
- Two steps Forwards
- The queen the Waif etc..
- Beyond the Gordian Knot
- Allowing myself to be imperfect
- The "other" list