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The Void Child

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Responsibility?

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Whilst a narcissist can only be in control they are not - at the same time - in any way willing to be responsible for the outcomes of their decisions actions or diktats.

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Mirror Child

When you grow up in a household where you are not allowed to become an individual where all your attempts to develop who you are, and find some self worth of your own are criticized, and belittled, you stop seeing yourself. because the self you have - is not your true self it is only the self you are allowed to have - someone else's choice of who you are a poorly constructed and distorted reflection of yourself. A mirror child. What you seem to do is submit to becoming defined by your parent and this means your self worth, self esteem, understanding of yourself and your capabilities are all formed outside yourself. but You don't know that this is not normal. Just understanding that there are other ways of being will evade you - after all its not something that children talk about in the playground. Not even something most adults would understand in discussion unless it was something you had been through yourself - and perhaps even fought with on

Enough, what would be enough?

It s eems I have had enough . I am actually bored with this s tuff endlessly rattling around in my head making noise so I cant concentrate on anything else. "Bugger it!" pretty much sums up how I feelright now. Bugger wanting the unattainable - wanting this Narcissistic person to want me. Wanting to matter to them. But she doesn't (my mother)- she doesn't want me enough enough to say..."Hello", or "Sorry" or "I was wrong." Not enough to put aside whatever it is that drives her to do this. I have grieved for that relationship and beaten myself up far too much these last years. I don't know what she has done with her time and I am finished with wondering about that. I'm not just saying that in the hope that saying it will make it true, I'm not even angry, I'm just flat, uninterested, done. Why? Because I am ENOUGH. This, me right here, is enough. I have spent a great deal of time wondering if I made e

The Scapegoat and the Golden Child ?

To relieve of sin and carry it away, take it with them to die in the desert and thus absolve others. That was the role of the scapegoat in one religious text. The appeal of being able to take all the blame and responsibility for your thoughts and actions, place them on someone else, and be absolved of responsibility is so massive it forms the basis of some religions. Is it therefore surprising we see a similar dynamic appear on a smaller scale even within a family unit? In a family this might mean the scapegoat is the person who is blamed for a whole variety of the families problems. Often emotionally abused the scapegoat can be so conditioned to their role within the family they can frequently end up in the position of apologising to the abuser. Perhaps as a snapshot of conversation between a parent and child this might sound like: "I had to smack you, you were being so naughty!" "I'm sorry Mummy, I'm so sorry I made you angry, I'll b

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