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Postcards From The Daughter of a Narcissist

October 15, 2016

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Aha! Moments Stories to make sense of abstractions

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Mirror Child

When you grow up in a household where you are not allowed to become an individual where all your attempts to develop who you are, and find some self worth of your own are criticized, and belittled, you stop seeing yourself. because the self you have - is not your true self it is only the self you are allowed to have - someone else's choice of who you are a poorly constructed and distorted reflection of yourself. A mirror child. What you seem to do is submit to becoming defined by your parent and this means your self worth, self esteem, understanding of yourself and your capabilities are all formed outside yourself. but You don't know that this is not normal. Just understanding that there are other ways of being will evade you - after all its not something that children talk about in the playground. Not even something most adults would understand in discussion unless it was something you had been through yourself - and perhaps even fought with on

Enough, what would be enough?

It s eems I have had enough . I am actually bored with this s tuff endlessly rattling around in my head making noise so I cant concentrate on anything else. "Bugger it!" pretty much sums up how I feelright now. Bugger wanting the unattainable - wanting this Narcissistic person to want me. Wanting to matter to them. But she doesn't (my mother)- she doesn't want me enough enough to say..."Hello", or "Sorry" or "I was wrong." Not enough to put aside whatever it is that drives her to do this. I have grieved for that relationship and beaten myself up far too much these last years. I don't know what she has done with her time and I am finished with wondering about that. I'm not just saying that in the hope that saying it will make it true, I'm not even angry, I'm just flat, uninterested, done. Why? Because I am ENOUGH. This, me right here, is enough. I have spent a great deal of time wondering if I made e

Counter Projection

I came across a concept today I haven’t seen or heard of before in all of my research on the subject of narcissism. I guess its not big - or new but its an odd twist on what I already know and I am re-framing several things based on it being a possibility. I have dickered around with the concept of narcissistic supply, and although my understanding is probably imperfect I am o.k. with all of the following: ----------------------------------------- You may not contradict a narcissist, their view of reality is the only one they will tolerate. You may only praise a narcissist or you will bring about an episode of narcissistic rage. People have their positions and roles within the narcissistic reality and you may not vary from you assigned role - or you will be discarded or rejected after attempts to bring you back into line have failed. The narcissist is "supplied" by being in the centre of their own universe - and receiving praise and acknowledgement of ......t

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